From personal experience, I can share that emotions felt to me like what Winston Churchill said about a world power: “It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma: but perhaps there is a key.” Emotions felt like trying to dealing with an unpredictable, powerful experience that often didn’t make sense to me. Emotions also fueled behaviors I would later come to regret. Emotions very much so felt like an impossible mystery to solve.
Our society has really dropped the ball on teaching emotional literacy and managing emotions. No wonder people still so often feel like emotions are the enemy. Society has an opportunity to stop reinforcing the burden to fulfill binary roles of “producer/consumer” from an industrial, conveyor belt, cookie cutter expectation that teaches people that they only matter if they are productive, succeed, make money, etc. Emotions become the enemy when they become something to turn off and turn on in order to work, produce, meet deadlines, and repeat the process all over again. Feeling stressed? “Get over it and just push through!!” This mindset and unrealistic expectation turns us into “human doings” instead of “human beings.”
You are not a robot whose sole purpose is to work, produce, meet deadlines, repeat, work, produce, meet deadlines, repeat, work, produce, meet deadlines, repeat. Who feels like they have time for emotions if it feels like you never have time to connect with yourself because you are so busy trying to meet demands? Emotions feel like the enemy because they don’t appear compatible with this way of living life.
You can live a more fulfilling life, prioritizing your well-being, emotionally, physically, etc, using healthy boundaries, and creating much needed balance in your life. For example, by practicing mindfulness and intentionally slowing down and giving yourself a few seconds, even 5-10 seconds of slow breaths and reconnecting with yourself, you can validate your present emotion and give yourself the message that you still matter, even with a 5pm deadline. This is far better than numbing, stuffing, and avoiding your emotions, only later to come home, snap at your loved ones, and have them snap back at you, all because everyone is emotionally drained and overwhelmed. Remember: You are not just the tasks that you complete. You are not just the energy and robotic activities needed to meet a deadline. You are a human being, full of skills, capabilities, characteristics and traits, that makes it all possible. There is only one of you, so taking care of you first is what is most important- even if that means giving yourself permission to get away from the “rat race.”
