Triggers are areas in your life to which you have developed a heightened sensitivity. Triggers take the form of the nouns in your life: people, places, and things. Triggers are blips on the radar screen that let you know there is something that you are not okay with, and you may not even fully know why. This can lead to unconsciously, or consciously, acting on impulsive behaviors to self-medicate or self-soothe an urge behavior by giving your brain what it is screaming for. An urge behavior is like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum, causing chaos and forcing the household to pay attention to it so it can get what it wants. This can be substance use, self-harming, binging on dopamine-rush producing behaviors, and more. After engaging in these behaviors, you could feel a sense of shame about what you have done. Strong relapse prevention planning involves naming these triggers early and developing strategies to reinforce the message to your brain that you are making the decisions of the household, not the “screaming toddler.”
Tips for managing triggers
- Practice and develop self-awareness by keeping a journal to track the nouns (people, places, and things) in your life to help you identify the button-pushers, patterns, conversations, events, circumstances, music, etc that triggers the desire to engage in urge behaviors. It helps to create a list of people, places, and things that are triggers so that you can create and maintain healthy boundaries in these areas.
- Work through managing feelings of guilt if you feel obligated to spend time with, rescue, or associate with people who are toxic for you. You are learning to put yourself first, so feelings of guilt often come with the territory of learning to prioritize self-care. There is space to both feel guilty and take care of yourself first. It is okay to no longer associate with people if it means losing yourself and your life of recovery and wellness. If you must spend time around certain people, such as family around the holidays, use supports and time boundaries to spend a predetermined amount of time at the family event and then reach out to a support person before and after the event.
- Assertive communication regarding boundaries and consequences for people disrespecting your boundaries is essential for managing triggers. For example, if we have a passive communication style, we will bottle up emotions and then later try to stuff, avoid, and numb them with an urge behavior.
- If needed, avoid high-risk people, places and things that are detrimental to your health and well-being.
- Identify healthy supports, activities, environments, and stress management techniques to decompress and increase feelings of connection when you experience moments of feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from yourself and others. This could be watching a funny movie (I like Step Brothers), exploring personal interests, spending time with trusted people, or engaging in activities that engage your senses, such as walking outdoors or creating art.
- Work with an individual/group therapist, recovery coach, peer support specialist, or other professional to help you develop a personalized relapse prevention plan, that also includes safety planning. This would detail how to manage thoughts and behaviors of self-harm, if applicable.
